One of my friends, @justaskjimvo posted to instagram about building a VO booth in which he pointed out that he has a basement (in Northern California?!) and it jogged a wonderful memory for me of how much my dad used ours when growing up back East.
My dad was a very creative man in a job that apparently didn’t use enough of that part of his heart. He used to have a photo lab in our basement, made beer and wine down there (which once exploded, much to my mother’s chagrin,) and built our old Heathkit Stereo there, too. He also taught me how to build a lamp and radios as well as working with me though other science-y let’s-test-the-water-type projects. 🙂 He passed away when I was 11, so this was a wonderful inadvertent gift.
Sometimes you’ve gotta “do it for the cookie,” or in today’s case, the latte and pb&j. This weird thing happens when I haven’t done something consistently for a while: I kinda’ forget that I can do it. In today’s case, it’s about riding my bike.
I don’t forget that I have the capability to stay upright and move forward, nor if I think about it, do I forget that my body has bike skillz that my head doesn’t even realize and has been totally able to save my ass from real trouble in the past. It’s more that I get really worked up, scared even, about getting started on the ride (or big run or open water swim!) After years of chronic pain and not always moving consistently because of it, I don’t always trust my body to be able to keep on keeping on once I’m out there in the middle of the ride, and I don’t want to have it fail and leave me on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.
I suppose that most of this isn’t particularly connected to current reality, but it’s a mental hurdle I keep having to get over to get out there lately. More and more, though, I’m starting to remember that I just need to show up and see what I’ve got on the day. I’m not meaning to sandbag (though I’ve certainly been guilty of lowering other people’s expectations over the years,) but I definitely need to stop putting myself down and just put myself out there instead to see what I can do. Adventures (and snacks!) await.
Finding my voice again…
Seems funny to start a blog that way, but even when you talk for a living, sometimes it can, well, I can feel like I don’t have much stuff to say that feels like it needs hearing, if that makes sense. So I guess I’m on the hunt for that with this blog. It may not be earth shattering or always scintillating, but I’ll keep showing up and see what I find on the day.